we're all mad here.

it's coming back. the feeling in my stomach that weighs my whole body down, the lump in my throat, the endless cycle of thoughts that eat away until there's nothing left.
 
i want it to stop. please, make it stop.

hey guys~ i'm in like a really good mood.
 
~
 
so not that any of you really care (bc who really reads these?) but since school has started, it's gotten better. i was really overreacting but whatever haha. so recently:
 
- i've grown accustomed to my class. better make the most of it while i can.
- there are lots people whom i really want to be friends with but because i'm socially inept, i'm incapable of talking to them. it's really frustrating actually.
- my friends are happy which makes me happy.
- i'm starting to revive old friendships.
- my korean is getting better. it's probably bc i've been listening to k-pop and watching kdramas non stop heh.
- i should srsly be doing my assessment that is due in three days but i cbfed lol.
 
and that's what you missed out on my life.

i'm not fu.cking poor. so why the fu.ck do you treat me as if i am? telling others that they should give me money as if i'm charity case, and giving me "that" look when i can't afford something at the time. you may think you're helping but you're not. you're making me feel worse.
 
you don't know half of what i go through, so stop acting as if you do.

i hate school.
 
i hate how i'm put in a class with no one i know. i hate how the teachers i get, are the ones who hate me. i hate how my friends get the perfect highschool experience and that i have to listen to it without complaining. i hate how i drag down other people with me. i hate how i set extremely high expectations and how i never fulfil them bc i'm stupid as fu.ck. i hate how teachers say "school is a safe place" bc that is utter bull. school isn't safe. i hate how i don't feel comfortable doing my work without feeling judgement radiating off people. i hate how i can't not care about what people think about me.
 
but most of all, i hate how i can't handle any of this like a normal person.
 
~
 
im so done right now. i dont know how im supposed to survive 11 more months when i cant even handle one day.
 
~
 
this is totally beside the point, but i absolutely hate it when i talk about something that upsets me and someone goes "oh that's not that bad." and then they babble on about their problems. like whoop-de-fu.cking-doo you just won the award for being the worlds biggest as.shole.

i'm a tad late with this, just a tad.
 
hopefully these resolutions are done by next year lol.

long overdue, but hey - what can you do?
i hope that 2013 is a good year for you guys.
 
just curious, if i said that this guy:
http://i45.tinypic.com/11lr0ad.png
is my boyfriend, would you believe me? lol
 
~
 
it's summer. it's the holidays. it should be great right?
 
wrong. i've barely gone out with friends in the past three weeks. i've literally been spending all my time listening to a boygroup (?) that i have become obsessed with omg and reading fanfiction. my fangirl feels are going everywhere. my life is gr9.
 

i don't think my friends like me anymore lol.
well in general, i don't think anyone likes me lol.

doesn't make a set in a month, makes a crappy one when returning = me.
 
~
 
so um yeah. just gonna dot out whats happened recently.
- i did pretty shit in my tests and assignments this semester. okay they're not that bad, but by my own standard - they were.
- three of my friends are possibly moving.
- one of them is the guy i like.
- boo hoo.
- the other one, is one of my best friends. she can't do that and just leave me alone. she's like one of the few people who keep me sane.
- if i don't get put into a class with at least one person i know next year, i'm going to suffocate myself inside a sleeping bag.
- ew christmas is coming up.
- have i mentioned how much i dislike christmas?
- was going to buy a cd the other day but i didn't have enough money bc i spent it all on food.
- the cd being take me home. omfg yes i know.
- instead of being a normal person and getting a fuzzy feeling bc it's almost christmas, i get it when i listen to one thing acoustically.
- im gonna cry. this year has passed by so quickly.i haven't done anything significant this year or fulfilled my new years resolutions.
- the only joyful thing that i can remember is seeing my babies on television when they came to australia.
- literally this whole year was a drag. my life in the social networking world went downhill, my life in general went downhill - i have a feeling people think i'm intimidating, and idk i've been keeping to myself a lot more i guess.
 

 

- i am also selfish as fu.ck and i need to stop complaining about my life.

so, i don't know if you can tell, but i physically can't make sets anymore. so this is just my half-hearted attempt.
 
~
 
okay so, here's an update on my lyf;
. my holidays were really boring. i think the only really interesting thing i did was borrow books i wanted to read i.e. perks of being a wallflower.
. my boyfriend had a party. ((okay so he's not really my boyfriend but i dont like calling him my crush. idk i call him my boyfriend as a joke)) but his actual girlfriend was there, so twas kinda awkward. i didn't get to talk to him or take photos. /sigh
. i came back to school a week ago and it's crapppppp like usual. people are so annoying. i'm going to strangle them with my earphones and make them suffocate to the sound of skrillex.
. i think i'm getting way to graphic with the way i want to hurt people.
. i keep getting called hipster and if i get called that again, i'm going to shove a vacuum up my ass.hole.
. i don't even dress like one like wtf are you talking about. i was wearing a baseball tee ((interesting fact i wore baseball tees bc they were comfortable in april)) and i was called hipster like ugh.
. i'm again falling into the mindframe that everyone around me is just so pretty and i'm hideous. i don't like this feeling. i can't even look at myself in the mirror.
. i think my sister knows that i'm taking her clothes and not returning them. 00ps.

let's go crazy, crazy, crazy til we see the sun.
i know we only met, but [insert title here].
and never, never, never stop for anyone.
tonight let's get some, and live while we're young~
 
~
 
omfg yes okay, i am aware this is a one direction set. sue me, but the song is actually catchy.
 
it's the holidays, i'm home alone. i'm belting one direction, dancing and rejecting offers to go out with friends. my life's a party.

been a while since i've done a proper set. too bad this is crap. sigh.
 
~
 
adventure timeeeeeeeee! i've been watching it recently and yeah. probably gonna make a set based on marceline's style. she's pretty c00l.